"Gender is an essential characteristic"

First, watch this video that was released by the Church on December 20:



Right now I'm researching doctrine and attitudes towards race and slavery in the Journal of Discourses, and I ran across an argument that is oddly similar to the one in this video.

In Volume 2 of the Journal of Discourses, Brigham Young says

"The seed of Ham, which is the seed of Cain descending through Ham, will, according to the curse put upon him, serve his brethren, and be a "servant of servants" to his fellow creatures, until God removes the curse; and no power can hinder it. These are my views upon slavery."

Later, in Volume 14, he says

"In ancient days old Israel was the chosen people in whom the Lord delighted, and whom he blessed and did so much for. Yet they transgressed every law that he gave them, changed every ordinance that he delivered to them, broke every covenant made with the fathers, and turned away entirely from his holy commandments, and the Lord cursed them. Cain was cursed for this, with this black skin that there is so much said about. Do you think that we could make laws to change the color of the skin of Cain's descendants? If we can, we can change the leopard's spots; but we cannot do this, neither can we change their blood."

What neither Brigham Young nor Boyd K. Packer seem to understand is that the issue isn't about changing things. It's about affirming things the way they are. It's about changing our approach, not changing truth. Truth will defend itself. I agree wholeheartedly that gender (and I would include sexual orientation, which I think Elder Packer assumes as a part of gender) is an essential characteristic. In fact, it's so essential, that its denial results in extreme pain and depression (as any LGBTQ person who has tried to force themselves to live according to gender/sexual orientation stereotypes knows). The question isn't whether or not gender is an essential characteristic: it's whether or not our views on gender and sexual orientation match reality, just as the question never was whether or not we could vote to change skin color, but whether or not skin color even mattered.