The Reward at the End of Hell

Something GMP commented on my last post sent me thinking. He said,

"We have a hard road ahead of us if it's in the cards to stay in full fellowship. I fully admit that I have a hard time imagining that the reward at the end of my life would be worth that kind of psychological hell. But if you believe the doctrines of the Gospel, that reward will be worth it, akin to those straight missionaries looking forward to their crushes and temple marriages. Our forward-looking is a lot more difficult and requires a lot more faith."

And what that made me think about is the forward-looking mentality that invests its happiness in things yet to come and yet to be. When I was younger, I always thought "once I'm a missionary, then I will be happy," or, "once I'm in college, or married, then I will be happy." I think we all do this from time to time. We use "forward thinking" to imagine rewards at the end of whatever hell in which we find ourselves to be. But how often do we stop and question the necessity of the hell in which we are living?

One of Martin Luther's theses against the Catholic Church was the selling of indulgences. The Church would basically sell the forgiveness of certain sins, and you could even purchase indulgences for others so that you could be sure they wouldn't burn in hell. And people bought them. Common, everyday peasants who could hardly feed themselves and their families would freely give money to one of the wealthiest and most powerful institutions at the time because they feared burning forever. That was one effective incentive structure. We often take the fire and brimstone imagery of hell metaphorically, but at the time it was largely viewed literally-- that people would actually burn and be whipped for eternity. This belief led them to the seemingly irrational action of giving away things they actually needed in the present to avoid an unpleasant future.

Conversely, I have found myself at times doing things right now out of the motivation for future reward- whether it's scripture study, fast offerings, or even just helping people out. These are all great things, but if the reason your doing them is for a reward, the it really worth it? Oh, and I'd like to say that I'm not really responding to or criticizing GMP so much as writing about where his comment led me in terms of thought process.

Here's what I believe- we don't do good things for a future reward, but for the reward of doing them. It is blessed to be pure in heart because to be pure in heart is a blessed state to be. Charity is its own reward. Humility is its own happiness. Likewise, hatred, anger, and pride are their own punishments.

I find happiness in the teachings of Paul and Alma that "now is the day and the time of your salvation." No matter how hard I try, I cannot escape the present moment, and so if I'm ever to experience happiness or peace, it's going to be in the now. Heaven, whatever it is, will also be an experience. It will happen in the now. If I don't know how to be happy now, how will I know how to be happy then? Because we know that the same spirit that possesses a man in this life will be the one to possess him in the next.

Perhaps the purpose of life is to learn to be happy now. I don't want to just wait for the reward at the end of the hell we so often allow our lives to come. God gave me the present, and that is where I believe He expects me to find joy--not in the insecure imaginations of some future reward. No reward is greater than happiness here, than peace in the present.

And the last question that I'm still pondering is whether of not I believe a doctrine that doesn't seem to bring it.

Thoughts?