Missions and Thought Abstinence

Anyone who has served a mission or has been around missionaries a lot knows that while they are supposed to put away thoughts about girls (or guys, as the case may be) and "lock their hearts," so not to develop feelings for anyone while they are missionaries, most still fail. If they're not talking or thinking about girls back at home, they are still noticing and thinking about all of the attractive women they see (and in some cases even more than usual because they have no opportunities to express their feelings), and many of them develop unwanted crushes on ward members or sister missionaries that leave them feeling guilty and ashamed. The reason is because thought abstinence is an incredibly difficult and completely unnatural task. Many missionaries feel distraught over sexual feelings for large portions of their missions.

To me it was a very natural environment, because I had been repressing myself sexually my entire life. It was no big deal--just more of the same. Now don't get me wrong, it was harder being in closer proximity to guys and living with them (like I've said before, though, I was luckily never attracted to any of my companions... except for one...), but it was still just the same as before--trying to rid myself of my sexuality.

The experiences of many missionaries proves that two year thought abstinence from sexuality is nearly impossible. Luckily, to sustain them through this "dry spell," Elders have hopes and fantasies of their celestial marriages yet to come. They have memories of dating and share stories constantly of their first kisses, holding hands, and cuddling with girls they liked. They know that as soon as their missions are over, they can have crushes on girls again, and go back to expressing themselves physically (albeit according to the law of chastity).

The Church has acknowledged that homosexuality is not a choice. If it's not a choice, then it must be an innate part of someone. This means that homosexuals and heterosexuals are different and have different needs. The danger of the Church's current position of advocating celibacy is that it not only robs the homosexual of sexuality, cuddling, holding hands, kissing, and dating, but it goes a step further into encouraging thought abstinence-- that to think too much about people of the same gender romantically is a sin, and it's the thoughts that need to be controlled. And so homosexuals can't fulfill their needs for intimacy, and beyond that, they are completely divested of hope for a relationship. It's difficult to imagine a greater psychological hell.